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Okay, so what’s up with the title?  Must-stash?  Mustache?  Well, it’s a super simple concept.  Every single week of the NFL season, it seems there is someone else worth stashing on your roster.  Whether it’s due to injury, skill level, opportunity, there is always someone worthy of our fantasy attention.

But!

On the flip side of that, there are always some names that are complete fakes.  They’re wearing a really creepy looking mustache trying to look cool, old and mature, or like they’re actually competent at football.

Well, I’m here to help you to sift through the upper lip facial follicles to find someone actually worthy of your roster spot.  And to help point out that running back with the creeper stache of course.  The mix of players will change from week to week, but most of the time we’ll be looking at running backs and wide receivers.  It seems with those positions you never know when someone’s the real Burt Reynolds, or they’re actually a stunning look-alike carnival worker who’s secretly going to kill your team in week 4 with a big fat goose egg.

Anyway, now that you’re thoroughly creeped out, let’s begin.

 

Running Backs

Must-Stashes

Chris Thompson (Washington Redskins) – Okay, okay.  I know.  I mentioned this guy last week.  The thing is, not enough people listened up in PPR leagues, so he’s here again.  Stash, or even trade him for that matter!  Matt Jones did decide to fall into the end zone and didn’t look terrible, but Chris Thompson still clearly has a prominent role on this team.

Cameron Artis-Payne (Carolina Panthers) – Let’s just call this dude CAP.  I loved him coming out of Auburn last year given Jonathan Stewart’s knack for getting injured.  Well, it looks CAP should be back in the mix for the second year in a row.  But where was he this week when JStew went down?  Fozzy Whitaker got all the work!  Yes, that’s because CAP was a healthy scratch so that the Panthers could have bulldozing FB Mike Tolbert active.  This week (just like last year in weeks 16 & 17) will be a different story.  Fozzy will get some catches, but CAP could easily fall into the end zone, get a dozen carries, or both.  Go stash him.  He’ll be nearly free.

Kenyan Drake (Miami Dolphins) – It seems as though the Dolphins just like any running back that isn’t named Jay Ajayi.  And hey, surprise!  Arian Foster looks to be out, at least for now, with another groin issue.  Nobody saw that coming!  But in all seriousness, there is a lot to like with Kenyan. He was taken in the 3rd round by the Dolphins this year.  They like what he brings to the table.  He’s not the most natural, physical, in-between-the-tackles guy.  However, he brings a lot to the passing game and has massive potential in space.  This week Kenyan already showed a little bit of his ability, finishing with 2 carries for 12 yards and a touchdown on the ground.  Plus he added in a couple receptions.  He got off to a slow start this summer with some minor injuries, but now that he’s caught back up, he needs to be owned.  Stash and enjoy!

 

Mustaches

Jalen Richard (Oakland Raiders) – Last week, I suggested avoiding all Raiders backup running backs.  For some reason, a ton of people decided to pick up this random fake mustache-wearing want-to-be backup only to be a unsurprisingly disappointed.  He managed just 17 yards on 7 carries.  Gross.  Although he out-touched fellow backup DeAndre Washington, things won’t stay that way for long.  Washington is clearly the more talented back through the air and on the ground.  Dump this fake facial follicle-fielding failure.

Fozzy Whitaker (Carolina Panthers) – I love Fozzy Whitaker.  Don’t get me wrong.  The guy is super scrappy and catches well.  I still remember thinking, “Man! This guy with the ridiculous name is actually solid!”, back when he was with the Chargers in the preseason about 5 years ago.  The problem is, we’ve been here before.  Cameron Artis-Payne was solid in limited action last year as Jonathan Stewart’s injury replacement.  Fozzy was relegated to passing downs.  In PPR, he’s not a terrible add.  Just don’t be fooled by the convincing mustache of a performance this week.

Corey Grant (Jacksonville Jaguars) – This one may seem obvious,?but let’s just pause and think about it for a moment.  Denard Robinson is bad at football.  TJ Yeldon has proven most recently that he is also clearly bad at football.  Chris Ivory isn’t a sure thing to be healthy.  Who’s this Corey Grant that got a short-yardage TD?  I should give Grant a look right?  If he’s free and your roster is 476 players deep, go for it.  Otherwise, he’s a fake.  It’s tempting to grab any RB that gets redzone work, but Corey grant is an undrafted free agent talent out of Auburn that was only active because they were without Chris Ivory this past week  Let him be.

 

Wide Receivers

Must-Stashes

Jamison Crowder (Washington Redskins) – DeSean Jackson, Pierre Garcon & Josh Doctson are the WRs to own in WAS right?  In PPR leagues, apparently that’s not the case.  Jamison Crowder has shown that he is going to be a target monster.  Kirk Cousins clearly has an issue waiting for plays to develop downfield.  Even when there’s a three-man rush, he just jettisons the ball in the general direction of some wide receiver or tight end.  Through two weeks, Jamison already has 12 receptions on 18 targets.  The yardage total isn’t eye-popping, but Jamison is turning into a safe floor PPR flex play.  He needs to be owned in every PPR league, two weeks ago.

Quincy Enunwa (New York Jets) – I was wrong on this guy.  It seems that even with Brandon Marshall & Eric Decker alongside him, Quincy Enunwa can find a role in the Jets offense.  Since the Jets have no tight end to speak of, the third target there is clearly Enunwa.  He already has 13 catches through two weeks.  Do I think he slows down a tad?  Yes.  He’s currently on pace for 100 catches.  That doesn’t happen for just anyone.  Obviously his ceiling is going to be limited due to all-pro talent around him, but like Jamison, his floor can clearly be trusted.  Stash him now if it’s not already too late!

Kenny Britt (Los Angeles Jeff Fishers) – Before you chuck the tomatoes, hear me out.  Kenny Britt is a 6’3″, 215 lb WR who has flashed greatness at times throughout his roller coaster of a career.  Now he’s in an offense full of putrid options at his position, and for now he is the WR1.  With 16 targets through two weeks he’s not going to score many touchdowns, but he’ll get his catches.  Stash Kenny Britt for a boom or bust flex play that also has an unexpectedly safe floor.

Mustaches

Marquise Goodwin (Buffalo Baddies) – Marquise just compiled 24% of his career receiving yards in one game this past Thursday.  That’s not because he’s had a short NFL career.  In fact, he’s been in the league since 2013.  He just hasn’t been good enough to warrant any targets.  Yes, Goodwin is a flat out speedster (former U.S. Olympic sprinter), but don’t be fooled.  He’s like a pencil-thin mustache.  He’s sleek, short, looks aerodynamic, but in the end he’s still a creepy mustache not worthy of a roster spot.  Goodwin’s best season-long finish was a measly 283 yards and 3 touchdowns.  This was his only relevant fantasy week of 2016.

Marqise Lee (Jacksonville Just-Another-Guy-Squad) – On top of misspelling his name, Marqise Lee is definitely wearing a fake fantasy mustache.  Jacksonville already has two Allens (Robinson & Hurns), plus a Julius to feed.  Marqise grabbed five balls this past week, but his production and health can’t be trusted.  Why can’t you trust his health, let alone his target diet?  In just over two seasons he has already missed 9 games with various ailments.  When a player is, at best, the 4th receiving option on his team, that’s not a guy you want to roll out in your flex spot, even on a bye week.  Don’t be fooled.  He’s faking.

Jaron Brown (Arizona Cardinals) – The “other Brown” in Arizona seems to have emerged as the WR3.  Yes, right now, it may look like that’s the case.  In fact, if you have watched either of the Cardinals games this year you would have noticed that Jaron has been a target in the clutch for Carson Palmer.  He’s saved (or failed to save) drives in a few key moments already.  And now he gets a big touchdown this week?  Surely we can trust him.  Nope.  John Brown is being eased back in from his concussion in the preseason, but he’s still the WR2 or 3 when back to normal.  Jaron’s only had 4 targets, and even that pace could decrease.  Don’t waste a waiver pick on this fake furry fiasco.

 

Tight Ends

Must-Stashes

Dennis Pitta (Baltimore Ravens) – I almost added Pitta to the list last week, but too many of my league mates use my articles against me.  For those of you who played fantasy football before 2013, Dennis Pitta is no stranger.  He had 7 touchdowns back in 2012 as one of Joe Flacco’s favorite targets.  Pitta’s career seemed close to over after a few injury-riddled seasons, but he’s back and needs to be on rosters in every league.  Go stash this TE1 in the making.

Other TEs To Grab – Jacob Tamme, Clive Walford, Vance McDonald, Kyle Rudolph, Virgil Green

Mustaches

Marcedes Lewis (Jacksonville Jaguars) – Marcedes Lewis is a seasoned veteran that I respect, but he is not worthy of a fantasy roster spot.  Julius Thomas is clearly the TE to trust in Jacksonville.  Lewis did accidentally find himself in the end zone this week, but two receptions for 17 yards is not what you want coming from your TE slot on any occasion.  That’s still probably more than you can expect from Marcedes in most weeks.

Other TEs To Avoid – Any Giants Tight End (they feed their WRs), Xavier Grimble, Jack Doyle, Charles Clay

 

Okay, so yes, there were less mustache jokes this week.  I hope you were okay with that.  If you have any questions, feel free to reach out on Twitter @FF_TravisM.  Good luck this week!

He’s married to his beautiful wife, Kelsey. Purdue University Class of 2011. Boiler Up! Lives in Nashville, TN. Titans fan (sympathetic gifts accepted). Works on music row by day. Writes about fantasy football by night. He plays club ultimate frisbee because it’s awesome. He longboards to work because he can. Find him on Twitter @FF_TravisM.

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