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Okay, so what’s up with the title?  Must-stash?  Mustache?  Well, it’s a super simple concept.  Every single week of the NFL season, it seems there is someone else worth stashing on your roster.  Whether it’s due to injury, skill level, opportunity, there is always someone worthy of our fantasy attention.

But!

On the flip side of that, there are always some names that are complete fakes. They’re wearing a really creepy looking mustache trying to look cool, old and mature, or like they’re actually competent at football.

Well, I’m here to help you to sift through the upper lip facial follicles to find someone actually worthy of your roster spot.  And to help point out that running back with the creeper stache of course.  The mix of players will change from week to week, but most of the time we’ll be looking at running backs and wide receivers.  It seems with those positions you never know when someone’s the real Burt Reynolds, or they’re actually a stunning look-alike carnival worker who’s secretly going to kill your team in week 4 with a big fat goose egg.

Anyway, now that you’re thoroughly creeped out, let’s begin.

Running Backs

Must-Stashes

Kenneth Dixon (Baltimore Ravens) – Who?  Isn’t this guy still injured?  Dixon was the Ravens’ 4th round draft selection this year out of Louisiana Tech.  He’s a do-it-all guy capable of being a feature back given any opportunity. Last year, in just 11 games with LA Tech, Dixon ran for 1073 yards and 19 touchdowns on the ground.  Plus, he also added 33 catches for 464 yards through the air.  If you haven’t been paying attention to Baltimore, the running backs have been awful with the exception of this past week.  Terrance West desperately wants to hold onto his job there.  However, Dixon is going to challenge him sooner than later.  Grab him if he’s not already gone.

Bilal Powell (New York Yets) – Bilal was a must-stash last week.  He’s back!  Somehow he’s owned in less than 40% of rosters on ESPN and Yahoo.  Why is he such a must-stash player?  This is the second week in a row with ten touches, plus nine, yes, nine targets in the passing game.  It’s also Powell’s second week in a row with more than 70 total yards.  Obviously Bilal’s ceiling is limited while Forte is healthy, but he needs to be on rosters, especially in PPR formats.  His talent may look like a mustache, but his opportunity is not.

DeAndre Washington (Oakland Raiders) – So yes, I am the founder of the DeAndre Washington fan club.  Back in February I was drafting him with the last pick of super deep, nerdy, off-season dynasty rookie mock drafts.  If you have to ask what those are, you don’t want to know.  All you really need to know about DeAndre is that he’s averaging more than seven touches per game as a rookie in a good offense.  Plus, Latavius Murray is trending in the wrong direction.  On top of that, DeAndre has looked very good.  He’s averaging 6.4 yards per carry and has caught all six balls thrown his way.  Stash him now before he goes off next week against the Chargers.

Mustaches

John Kuhn (New Orleans Saints) – John Kuhn is the biggest, bushy, manly mustache out there.  I have a ton of respect for this long-term former Packer.  However, he’s still faking like he’s fantastic for fantasy.  It’s sometimes fun to bank on a vulture touchdown if you don’t have many other great options.  And yes, Kuhn’s had three TDs in the last two games.  It looks like he’s the goal line guy in a solid offense.  However, Kuhn is a fullback with no guarantee of even seeing one carry on any given week.  Don’t waste the roster sport.

Terrance West (Baltimore Ravens) – Click.  Goodbye.  You’re dumb Travis.  This guy just ran for 113 yards and a score.  Yes.  Yes he did.  However, Terrance West has had more than three years to show that he can consistently be a competent back in the NFL.  When you compound that with Dixon coming back from injury and Buck Allen taking passing targets, the BAL backfield is still muddy.  Give it two weeks.  You won’t be starting Terrance West.

Wide Receivers

Must-Stashes

Steve Smith Sr. (Baltimore Ravens) – Let’s get the obvious one out of the way.  It’s not too often that I advocate drafting a WR old enough to father the NFL’s rookie class, but this guy is the exception.  He’s defied all odds by coming back from a ruptured achilles at age 37.  Not only has he come back, but he’s come back to play.  He’s already snagged 24 catches for 281 yards and a score through four weeks.  Somehow he’s still available in more than 30% of leagues on ESPN and Yahoo.  Wow.

Kenny Britt (Los Angeles Rams) – Britt was here a couple of weeks ago.  Now he’s back for more!  Through four weeks, Britt has had no fewer than four catches in a game.  He, like Steve Smith, has 281 yards already.  He doesn’t have the touchdowns to go with the yardage just yet, but they will come.  If he is out there in your PPR league make sure you grab him.  He’s a must-stash with a safe floor and a couple of boom weeks ahead of him.

Robert Woods (Buffalo Bills) – Robert Woods is the only wide receiver worth mentioning in Buffalo.  Yes, LeSean McCoy & Charles Clay will get some targets, but Robert Woods will be the guy for the Bills.  Just this past week he had ten targets.  Expect that to be the norm going forward.  Don’t expect any 150 yard weeks, but Woods has always had decent talent.  He’s a must-stash match-up based flex at worst from here on out.

Mustaches

Dontrelle Inman (San Diego Chargers) – Okay, so part of the reason Inman is here is personal.  I lost a match-up this past week due to his shenanigans.  But the truth is, Inman has fooled us before.  Last year he threw together a couple of weeks once Keenan Allen was gone where he had nine or more targets and a score.  That won’t be the norm moving forward.  His snaps have not increased.  In the three weeks prior he had amassed just ten targets total.  This week he had eleven.  There are too many other options in San Diego.  Don’t waste your roster spot on this nasty stereotypical hipster mustache.

Brian Quick (Los Angeles Rams) – Quick is the Wizard of Oz’s mustache.  He acts like he’s good early on in the movie (in his career) with a few good weeks.  Then an hour or so later into the movie (the past two weeks) he fakes you out again with what seems to be wish-granting, touchdown-scoring magical powers.  Don’t believe it.  He’s still hiding behind the same old mustache.  I’m Toto, pulling back the curtains.  If you didn’t understand any of this, it’s been too long since you’ve seen the movie. Go watch it.  I’ll wait.  It was great the 27th time wasn’t it?  Yes, but Brian Quick is not. He’s not going to score touchdowns on three of every four catches moving forward.

Tight Ends

Must-Stashes

Hunter Henry (San Diego Chargers) – Hunter Henry is the heir to Antonio Gates’ thrown in San Diego.  As long as Gates is sidelined (and even possibly when he is not), Hunter is going to get consistent looks.  Philip Rivers has always loved his tight ends (no pun intended).  This 2016 second round pick is no exception.  He’s a talented receiver and blocker that any team would be happy to roll out on nearly every snap.

Other Tight Ends To Add – Charles Clay, Will Tye (Donnell concussion), Ryan Griffin (Fiedorowicz MCL)

Mustaches

Austin Hooper (Atlanta Falcons) – Speaking of rookie tight ends, Austin Hooper has made a few splashes this year.  However, just look at some pictures of him.  He sports the creeper stache far too often.  Plus, Jacob Tamme is the tight end to own in Atlanta for at least one more year.  Hooper will have a big play here and there, but you just can’t trust that creeper mustache.

Other Tight Ends To Avoid – Garrett Celek, Jesse James, Lance Kendricks

There were a few more mustache jokes this week.  You’re welcome.  If you have any questions, feel free to reach out on Twitter @FF_TravisM.  Good luck this week!

He’s married to his beautiful wife, Kelsey. Purdue University Class of 2011. Boiler Up! Lives in Nashville, TN. Titans fan (sympathetic gifts accepted). Works on music row by day. Writes about fantasy football by night. He plays club ultimate frisbee because it’s awesome. He longboards to work because he can. Find him on Twitter @FF_TravisM.

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