Okay, so what’s up with the title? Must-stash? Mustache? Well, it’s a super simple concept. Every single week of the NFL season, it seems there is someone else worth stashing on your roster. Whether it’s due to injury, skill level, opportunity, there is always someone worthy of our fantasy attention.
On the flip side of that, there are always some names that are complete fakes. They’re wearing a really creepy looking mustache trying to look cool, old and mature, or like they’re actually competent at football.
Well, I’m here to help you to sift through the upper lip facial follicles to find someone actually worthy of your roster spot. And to help point out that running back with the creeper stache of course. The mix of players will change from week to week, but most of the time we’ll be looking at running backs and wide receivers. It seems with those positions you never know when someone’s the real Burt Reynolds, or they’re actually a stunning look-alike carnival worker who’s secretly going to kill your team in week 4 with a big fat goose egg.
Anyway, now that you’re thoroughly creeped out, let’s begin.
Jordan Howard (Chicago Bears) – This one should be a no-brainer with Jeremy Langford going down and inevitably missing some time. Howard was a solid talent coming out of IU this year. He’s not crazy fast or agile, but his technique is elite. Jordan was already getting touches this week and last in pivotal moments while Langford was still healthy, but now he has a huge opportunity. Ka’Deem Carey isn’t very good at any part of football. Howard was already being used a lot in the passing game this week (surprisingly). Howard could run away with this backfield with a good showing (because Langford is bad at football).
Bilal Powell (New York Yets) – Wait, what? This guy was supposed to be good this season, and he’s been a dud. Wrong. He was never going to have a massive role with Matt Forte there. However, Forte is ancient. Forte wasn’t going to carry the ball 30 times per game, and the Jets adjusted the touch count this week (Bilal 10, Forte 17). Bilal is a sneaky bye week fill-in at flex moving forward. Also, if Forte does get injured, he’ll be a weekly flex starter consistently, just like late last year.
Wendell Smallwood (Philadelphia Eagles) – Wendall was taken earlier than many thought in the draft this spring. He had a great summer. A certain Philly beat writer was tooting his horn way too loud. All this is true. He even ran for 79 yards this week with Ryan Mathews not doing much because of his ankle. Here’s the problem: this is a running back by committee situation if Mathews misses time. Smallwood actually had one less snap that Darren Sproles this week (24 to his 23). He’s a mustache unworthy of your fantasy team’s face.
Orleans Darkwa (New York Giants) – Orleans has an awesome name. Shane Vereen is out for a long time. Rashad Jennings doesn’t stay healthy. Yes, this is true. However, Darkwa is still just a well-groomed mustache with minimal athletic ability. Plus, Paul Perkins, a talented rookie is waiting in the wings for his opportunity. This backfield is not going to be pretty for anyone if both Jennings and Vereen are out for an extended stretch.
Jamison Crowder (Washington Redskins) – I’m just going to keep this guy here until people start listening. This week, Jamison had a season low, 7 targets. However, it didn’t matter. He’s getting fed in a fairly potent offense. Pick him up before someone else gets him, especially in PPR. He’s money in the bank.
Adam Humphries (Tampa Bay Buccaneers) – Who? Yeah, I know. It’s like he just came out of nowhere, and now he’s worth an add? Yes, to the second part of that sentence. Adam Humphries was actually a guy who began to earn Jameis Winston’s trust last year, but people didn’t notice. Why? He was an undrafted wide receiver out of Clemson that no one had heard of. This year, Adam has already gotten off to a fast start with 18 catches on 25 targets for 201 yards. Plus, his competition for targets outside of Mike Evans is an 877-year-old Vincent Jackson and a decent blocking tight end in Cameron Brate. Give this guy a shot. He’s worth a look in PPR formats.
Terrelle Pryor (Cleveland Browns) – Wait, so I should add Adam Humphries instead of Terrelle Pryor? No, the expectations just need to be tempered here. Ever since he came into the league people have been trying to make him happen and for one week he looked real. The problem is, once Corey Coleman and Josh Gordon join him on the field he won’t be seeing anywhere near the same target volume. He’s going to fade quickly from 14 targets for 144 to something more like 5 for 45. If you do grab him, sell right away. Why? Come on! Just look at that nasty mustache.
Brian Quick (Los Angeles Rams) – We’ve been here before. It’s not like Brian Quick doesn’t have talent. Back in 2014, he looked like a 3rd-year breakout candidate with 21 catches and 3 TDs through four games. The problem here is that the Rams offense is just gross. Yes, he grabbed a long TD this week. He’ll probably do that two or three more times this season. However, no one knows when that will happen. Quick only has 8 targets through three games. Brian may look great this week, but just look closer and you’ll see that he’s a mustache. He’s like the girl that looks attractive from across the poorly lit bar. Then, when you finally muster up the courage to get up and go talk to her, you notice the mustache and just keep on walking.
Cameron Brate (Tampa Bay Buccaneers) – The Buccaneers finally cut bait with the frustrating talent, Austin Seferian-Jenkins. Now is Cameron Brate’s time to shine. Without ASJ in the lineup, Brate scored two touchdowns on five receptions with ten targets going his way. He won’t score twice every week, but he will have a fairly safe floor in the Buccaneers pass-happy offense. Good luck this week getting him. You’ll need it.
Other Tight Ends To Add – Kyle Rudolph, Jack Doyle, Richard Rodgers
Jace Amaro (Tennessee Titans) – Delanie Walker was out for the Titans this week, leaving an opportunity for Jace Amaro to shine. He did catch three balls for 59 yards, but he’s a trap. The fantasy community wanted him to happen so badly with the New York Jets. He’s not going to happen in Tennessee either. The Titans don’t throw enough. Once Delanie is back there won’t be enough snaps to go around. Don’t waste anything on Amaro. He’s a mustache if I’ve ever seen one.
Other Tight Ends To Avoid – Demetrius Harris, John Phillips, Brent Celek
Okay, so yes, there were less mustache jokes this week. I hope you were okay with that. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out on Twitter @FF_TravisM. Good luck this week!